If someone would have asked me 10 years ago if I would ever
get a divorce my answer would have been, “no”.
A resounding “oh no, not ever”. I
would have said, “even if things were terrible there is no way that I would
share my kids”. Let’s be honest I did
say those things. I used those exact
words, “I could never share my kids”, “They will NEVER have another Mother! I
am their ONLY mom”. It’s funny how life
has a way of making you reevaluate and take back your “nevers”.
When I was saying those words, and truly meaning them (at
the time), I had no idea that one day I would be hearing the words, “Mom, we
took her to eat for Stepmom’s Day”, and I most certainly would have never
dreamed that my response would be, “that is so exciting!! Did you guys make her
something or get her a gift? It’s her first official Mother’s Day!” You see my kids have been blessed with a
kind, gentle, funny, and amazingly loving other mother. They beam at the thought of spending time
with her and their dad. They love her! I
love her! She has no obligation to love them, but she does, and she does it
well!
The truth is, on this first Mother’s Day that I am sharing,
I couldn’t be more delighted. Yes, delighted!!! As I navigate not being their
only mom, what I have come to realize, is that even if I were still married, I
wouldn’t have been their only mother!
There is no way that I could ever teach my kids all the things that they
need to learn. Help them through all the
situations that they will face as they get older. Fanaticize as I might about being the
greatest (okayest) mom on the planet, they will always, ALWAYS, look to other
people for advice! It is my job to point them to those people when what I have
to say just won’t do!
My mom and I are, and have always been, extremely close. She is my truest confidant, she has seen it
all, heard it all, and walked every step of every journey with me! She has
always spoken truth to me and encouraged me when I was sick (emotionally,
spiritually, and physically). She is generous with her time and money, she is
beautiful inside and out, and she is one of the most incredible women I have
ever met. When I say that I hope to be just like her when I grow up I mean
that! However, I was not just raised by my incredible parents. I have a list of
other women that have pouring into me at various times in my life. All of these
women have been “mom’s” to me at times.
At this very moment there are two women that I would introduce as “my
other mother”, and that has no impact on how I feel about my mom! Funny enough just the other day she said, "have you talked to your other mother about this?"
The true beauty of my mom is that she taught me to seek
other women when I needed them. She encouraged me to go to them when I needed
more than what she could give me at the time.
What she didn’t know is that she was teaching me everyday that it was
okay to have “other mothers”. A lesson
that is now serving me oh so well! She taught me that there is no limit to
love! That it doesn’t run out! To assume that I am, or will always be the only
person that my kids love like a mom is selfish.
It’s like saying they can’t love more than one pet, or love more than
one friend, or later in life love more than one of their kids the same! Them loving her as much as they love me could
never diminish their love for me. It teaches them that love is infinite and
should be given freely.
When it comes down to Mother’s Day and sharing my kids, the
only thing I can think is, Thank you God!! Thank you for giving my kids so many
women that have already poured into their lives. Thank you for blessing us all with a stepmom
who is the absolute best. I will never be their only mother, and I know without
a shadow of a doubt that it does not change how much they love me, need me, or
will come to me when it really gets ugly.
It simply increases how much they are loved, so you better believe that
I will “share” them with as many other women as I need to, to ensure that the love they feel is overflowing!
To all the moms out there who helped raise me, and all
the moms past, present, and future, who are and will help raise my kids. Thank You!! Happy Mother’s Day!
