2016 Day One:: Grey Looks Good on You!

            I remember typing my New Year’s Blog last year and it feels like it was yesterday. I remember how comfortable I felt walking into 2015 and how ready I was to conquer it.  From day one it was my mission to find happiness exactly where I was at. To learn exactly who I was and who I wanted to be. To love my life so fiercely that I didn’t need anyone else’s approval. I revisited my past, and took a long hard look at all of the pieces that made me who I am. I got rid of some of those pieces and the rest I’m using to rebuild something amazing.     

             The hardest part of 2015 was living most of it in the grey zone! I love definitive. My mind is a state of compartmentalized beauty.  I have compartments for everything. If I can’t fit someone or something into a compartment, then they just don’t get to stay, because I do not operate well in the grey-zone.  I spent a good amount of 2015 trying to define thing that can’t be defined. Trying to make things fit into a conclusive spot in my mind! Then three weeks ago, I finally figured out that not everything needs an explanation. Not everything needs a compartment and not everything will make sense from the outside looking in.  Somethings just can’t be defined and luckily I realized that those things can actually be the most beautiful and comforting things in my life.  

            So here’s to 2016. I’m going to finish grad school, I’m going to walk the stage, and I’m going to be proud of myself.  I’m going to play in the rain with my kids and stay up late watching silly movies. We are going to have Nerf Wars all over the house, because I’m going to say “yes” as much as possible! I’m going to keep laughing at the non-sense that is my life and I am going to keep loving the chaos. More than anything I’m going to remember that definitions can ruin brilliance, that grey can be a beautiful color, and that the things that don’t always fit are often the best parts of my life.